Wednesday, May 02, 2007

coursework

Wayne's interessiert, der kann hier einen Blick auf meine hochwissenschaftliche Zeitungsente werfen und sich ein Bildchen davon machen, was ich mittwochs im College so treibe *gg* Also fuer alle, denen auch manchmal sooo langweilig ist, dass sie sogar Gebrauchsanweisungen aller moeglichen Dinge lesen...


Swapping Sides

According to the Prime Minister, Islanders could soon be driving on the other side of the street!

Only two months after the Isle of Wight’s declaration of independence on May 3rd, 2050, newly-elected Prime Minister Samuel White (Purple Party) surprised the members of parliament by announcing his intent to modify some of the Republic’s laws due to actual environmental issues.
“While arranging our rule as governing party in the new Republic of the Isle of Wight, the current turn of events forced us to reconsider our targets in order to prevent this newly-founded country from destructive influences, such as climate changes and increasing road accident rates,” Deputy Governor Emma Brown told The Thursday Magazine.
The first and major change, to be realised in 2055, is said to be a nationwide alteration of driving direction from left to right.
This economic policy measure is necessary to ensure the drivers’ safety as well as to secure a healthy environment in the long term.
Researches have shown that in right-hand traffic countries, road accident rates are up to 23 % lower than in areas where people drive on the left side of the street.
This phenomenon might sound odd, but can easily be implicated with medical reasons: Swedish scientists have discovered that, in the majority of cases, the left part of the human brain is higher developed than the right half. As a result, the ability to recognise quick movements is absolutely distinct in the left eye, but hardly existent in the right one!
Consequently, driving on the left hand side, as it is now, means that the “weaker” right eye has to do all the work watching out for other cars, and therefore gets tired easily. The symptoms of fatigue again affect its function, which means the eyesight spirals downwards the quicker the longer you are driving. And a hindered eyesight naturally is a huge source of danger, especially in road traffic!
By changing the traffic direction to the right hand side, the strong left eye is put in a position in which its strength is utilised at maximum level. This should lead to a quicker recognition of possible causes of risk and extensive accident avoidance.
Another advantage of this measure would be a probable decrease of pollution caused by emissions from motor vehicles. Again, a direct link to the traffic direction might not be obvious, yet a closer look into automobile design might give more information about its advantages.
“Most cars are built with their exhaust pipe at rear, slightly angled to the right. When using right-hand driven cars, which are very popular in the Island’s left-hand traffic, emissions are puffed off to the middle of the road and then ascent inland from there.
“By importing left-hand drive cars, which still have the exhaust pipe on the right, we’d make sure that emissions get blown off the street where they are taken up by the winds and blown into the open sea. This way, the Island stays nice and clear of pollution,” Michael Black, local master engineer explains.
Other overwhelming advantages of right-hand traffic are shorter embarking periods when taking the ferry, as well as the saving of border crossings on the planned motor vehicle bridge to France.
As the realisation of the project is planned for 2055, action has to be taken quickly. By organising an extraordinary meeting of the government, the Purple Party seized its opportunity to announce and advertise their “step-by-step programme” towards the new regulations.
Emma Brown: “Once all the paperwork is completed, the commencement of the act should take place without any problems. We have already adopted the idea of a transitional period, during which there will be special regulations.
“As no decision has been made yet, we can only give you a rough review of our action plan, but we’re hoping to have a full concept soon.
“During the transitional period, it will be essential to keep traffic down to an absolute minimum. Major speed restrictions will be needed nationwide, as the change of sides will be achieved gradually.
To ensure the safety of pedestrians, these will be advised to walk along the centre of the road instead of using the sides. The same rules will apply to cyclists and motorcyclists.”
All this sounds like a well thought-out project, but there are still some difficulties to overcome. The government’s intention to aim for a complete eradication combined with an import ban of right-hand driven cars could fail due to the European Union Agreement on free movement of goods.
Rumour has it that the government is considering a special bonus for those who swap their cars within the first episode of the transition period, yet all our attempts to enquire about it at the parliament were unsuccessful.
“As the Purple Party haven’t put the Act of Parliament through yet, it’s impossible to give detailed information about their step-by-step programme,” a press relations officer explained.
“However, action will be taken to support those willing to keep up with the time and appreciating our programme.”
Well, we certainly appreciate a government who work so hard for their people, don’t we?

(c) Karin Kulmer 2007

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Finally! Thanks to an attentive government, I can now book another flight to the British Isles for my senile hubby and myself - just in time for his 99th birthday! He has been longing for safer traffic conditions in Britain since his first trip there in 1998!

Ina said...

@Karin: ich gehe mal davon aus, dass der David bei uns war, jedenfalls hing auf einmal ein Sackerl für mich da, mit CD von Mika (juchu!) und vielen Zuckerpackerln (auch juchu!). Ums mit den Worten von Hader zu sagen: Danke, ganz lieb!
Und ich muss gestehen: Deinen Artikel hab ich net gelesen...

karin said...

hats dich also doch erreicht... da bin ich aber froh! und, cd schon angehoert? funktionierts?

nadine said...

ja weil bei karins cd kanns scho mal vorkommen,dass sie aus unerklärlicherweise einfach in österreich net funktioniern.
und hat ers doch geschafft,mir wollt ers ja net gebn,damit ich vorbeikommen hätt können..aber brav david..echt

kk said...

deine cd hab i aber damals getestet und bei mir is gegangen! keine ahnung, was da passiert is...

nadine said...

i reg mich ja eh net auf..is ja auch net all zu schlimm..
weiß aba auch net,was da echt passiert ist..

Ina said...

also die CD funktioniert, ich bin happy. Danke nochmal.
Aber wo sind Deine weiteren Einträge? Was tust Du denn die ganze Zeit????